


Sweet Caroline

by blushingninja



Category: Gangsta. (Manga)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon - Manga, Manga Spoilers, Multi, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 07:09:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4295379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blushingninja/pseuds/blushingninja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Confronted with a gut wrenching decision about her future Alex must decided what is best for her, Benriya and her unborn baby.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> [Socialdegenerate](http://www.socialdegenerate.tumblr.com) and I are currently running a challenge amongst ourselves to write a whole bunch of Benriya OT3 fics, so if you have any ideas or prompts that you'd like to see written, drop them off in [my inbox](http://www.blushingninja.tumblr.com/ask) or in the comments here!   
>  Much thanks

This was not the time for this. Never was the time for this. It was as if the whole world was opening up beneath her, spinning and falling away, leaving her without a standing and threatening to come tumbling back down with disastrous results.

“Alex?” Coming back to earth, Doctor Theo's clever blue eyes took in her every tick, reading her like an open book. “If it belongs to a client we can fix this. You have the choice.” _A client?_ He thought it belonged to a client, maybe it was better to keep it that way, especially if she was going to get rid of it. She was sure Theo wouldn't push her into anything she didn't want to do, but in the same sense, if he discovered the father's true identity his neutrality may be swayed. A half twilight half normal child especially one that belonged to Nicolas would no doubt be of interest to his research and she couldn't risk him attempting to manipulate her into keeping it. It wasn't right, this wasn't the time. Never was the time. 

 

“I don't know.” Clearing her throat as she choked over her words, Alex stood with purpose and bowed slightly. “Thank you very much for you assistant doctor, as always it's most appreciated.” Narrowing his eyes as he watched her leave, Alex could feel his gaze burning a hole in the back of her head. Waving a quick goodbye to Nina as she ducked down the stairs, Alex kept her head low as she exited the doctor's office and pounded the pavement back to Benriya. Her feet hurt, but maybe that was to be expected. Isn't that what happened to pregnant women? They became weak and fragile. There would be no way the boys would want to keep her at Benriya now. She'd be too much trouble, especially if she decided to keep it. Pausing mid step and falling against a wall of a side street, she swallowed a sob as it welled up in her throat. She couldn't honesty be thinking about keeping it. Not in this world, not in the mess they called Ergastulum, not with what it would be. A half human half twilight baby wouldn't survive here, she barely could barely survive here. No, the kindest thing to do would be to end it all now before it became anything.

 

 

She managed to get back to the offices with no further hassle. Pausing before tugging open the door at the top of the stairs, she took a deep breathe and rearranged her face. She couldn't let on that she'd been crying. Worick was too clever and Nicolas' eyes saw all, they'd be on her in seconds, asking about her well being and she wasn't sure she could keep the truth from them. But she had to be strong. This wasn't something they needed to be burden with, this was her problem and she'd fix it. Pulling open the door and holding her head high, she wasn't surprised to find the upstairs offices empty. Worick had mentioned something about meeting up with some of his 'executive business partners' which probably meant Nicolas was downstairs. He probably hadn't even noticed she was home.

 

Coming to sit on the sofa, Alex fell flat against the cushions, closing her eyes against the soft light filtering in from the curtain less windows. It would be evening soon and she should probably start making dinner. Something light and easy that might stay down rather than ending up vomited in the toilet the next morning. Squeezing her eyes closed, she tried to push down a fast approaching headache. What if they already knew? She had been sleeping more of late and her morning sickness had been consistent over the past couple of weeks. Shaking her head and sighing Alex was doubtful. The pair of them had never really lived with women before, Worick may have been the exception. The whores at  _Pussy_ probably had pregnancy scares fairly often but whether he'd noticed at all was a whole other matter. If they hadn't mentioned it by now she was probably in the clear. At least until she started to show. 

 

_But it wouldn't get to that_ she reminded herself. In a couple of weeks she'd go back to Doctor Theo and have this whole thing taken care of. Opening her eyes and expecting to see the ceiling she barely managed to contain a scream as Nicolas' face loomed over her, dark eyes curious. 

“You scared me” she said slowly, rubbing a hand over her eyes and sitting up. The headache now coming in with full force. “Is Worick with the guild?” It was a fair assumption, his new business endeavour was making him incredibly popular and making them plenty of extra cash, but it certainly meant he was out of the house far more often.

_ **Yes** _ signing slow and sure so she could follow, Nicolas nudged her gently on the shoulder, forcing her to shuffle off to the side, making space for him to sit.  _ **Did Nina have what you wanted?** _ Following his hands with a frown, Alex almost gave up the game with a confused query, only to remember her cover story at the last minute. 

“It was just a shirt” she signed along as she spoke, both for practice and confirmation. “She can borrow it for a little longer.”

_ **Do you have enough clothes?** _ Looking her up and down closely, Nicolas cocked his head to the side, eyebrow raised. Smiling, Alex almost laughed. This was his way of being considerate, of making sure she was okay, of looking after her. He'd never really had to do it before, but by some miracle it was almost his instinct. Among all the death and bloodshed, he really did care.  _ He'd be a good father.  _

 

Looking away with a sudden wave of emotion, Alex jumped as a hand touched her cheek. Nicolas had huge hands, lovely hands. Riddled with scars, burns and torn knuckles, his palms and fingers were rough with calluses, a merit to his practice and training with the sword. Alex was thankful she had never truly been on the receiving end of his violence, instead she'd only felt him in love, passion and warmth. And for that she was thankful, especially as they cupped her cheeks and brought her close to him. Dark eyes bore into hers, searching and all seeing and she needed to hide. Hide the truth and hope for the best.

_ **I'm fine.** _ Moving her own hands to his face as he finished signing, she moved slowly in case he wanted to pull away. Bringing their lips together she brushed over them, feather light and gentle at first. It took time for Nicolas to adjust to the attention, but once he did Alex always felt overwhelmed by the affection and desire he offered. It was as if all those years alone had made him thirsty for any and all physical affection and Alex was all to happy to offer it to him. 

 

Sliding across the small space between them when prompted, she all but crawled into his lap, shivering as those strong hands slid down her face, moving to her breasts to squeeze and massage before then settling in against the dip and groove of her hips. Straddling his lap and going down for a second kiss, Alex was caught off guard as Nicolas reached her lips first, kissing her with almost bruising force. He was always so eager, greedy almost, taking anything he could get and making the most of it as if each time was their last. Moving in seamless unison, the pair suckled kiss after kiss, breathing becoming laboured and panting as they broke apart. Lips tingling Alex moaned as she felt the hem of her skirt hitch up further, Nicolas' hand sliding up her the side of her thigh, moving to cup the cheek of her ass and push her forward. Rolling their hips together with an arch of her spine, Alex watched the dark gleam in her lover's eye increase, shining as they rubbed against each other. Grinding their hips together in need and desperation.

 

The very open sofa of the office probably wasn't the best place to do this. But Alex needed the distraction, for herself and for Nicolas in case he cottoned on and asked questions. Shivering, her whole body beginning to feel weightless and hot, Alex threaded her fingers through Nicolas' short crop of dark hair, moaning as the roll of their hips connected in just the right stop. It felt good, better than most forms of pleasure she'd indulged in in the past and for someone like Nicolas who was still so new to the whole affair his enthusiasm doubtless contributed to her overall enjoyment.

“Wait” she gasped, trying to remember the signs to her words. “Not here.”

“Spoil sport.” Jumping as a voice came from behind them, Alex turned with a scowl, glaring at Worick who'd somehow managed to sneak his way in without either of them noticing. However by the easy pose Nicolas held,  _ he'd  _ known they weren't alone. “You're always having fun without me.” Crossing the room with arms wide open, the blond wrapped Alex up in a tight backwards hug, planting a kiss on her forehead as she leant back to stare up at him. 

“It's because you're never invited” she said slowly, trying to ignore the hand snaking down her cleavage. “And weren't you busy today?” It was going to be hard enough keeping this from Nicolas, but with both of them there she'd have to keep incredibly tight lipped least her secret slip out.

“I was” the blond drawled out slowly, dipping his hand into her bra and burying his face into her hair, kissing the back of her neck. “But I finished early.” He paused. “Kind of, everyone sort of went home to their beloved, so I thought I'd do much the same.” Kissing her cheek and grinning Worick looked intensely pleased, even as Alex shook her head and sighed.

 

Nicolas to his merit seemed content to watch them bicker, his hands still firmly planted on his lover's hips. Alex was happy to ignore the hand between her breast, that was until questing fingers zeroed in on her nipples and pinched none too gently. Knocking her head back on reflex, she slapped his hand away, rubbing her tender sore with a pout. She wasn't usually that sensitive, especially after the kind of abuse she'd coped on the streets but of course because of this more recent development, everything hurt more than usual.

“I'm sorry sweetheart.” Genuinely apologetic, Worick quickly withdrew his hands, taking a moment to fluff up Nicolas' hair before sitting back on the empty space on the sofa. “I won't be so rough next time.”

“Good” she huffed, unhappy for the break in their activities and the amount of talking that was passing between them. She didn't need this right now. She needed wordless, mindless pleasure. Things to make her forget even just for a little while. The boys were usually good for that and thankfully right now it didn't seem like they needed a lot of coaxing.

 

Tossing her hair back from her face and shuffling against the flat of Nicolas' thighs, Alex leant down and put her head to his shoulder, hands running down his chest and listening to the strong, pounding of his heart. “Come here.” Stretching out to touch Worick's shoulder, Alex smiled when he came almost immediately, leaning sideways to rest his head against the other man's opposite shoulder. Hands reaching out, their fingers linked, Alex smiled as the blond took her hand to his lips, kissing it slowly. Feeling the hand at her hip grab just that little bit tighter, she laughed as Worick slid purposely closer, kissing the under side of her wrist and up her arm. There no where near enough space on the sofa for all three of them but it was a common enough alignment, usually rectified by a couple of blankets and pillows thrown on the floor. They needed to get a bigger bed. Worick could certainly use it for work and it would work wonders at a time like this.

 

Bringing her knees in closer as the blond took up increasingly more space, Alex cried out as Nico's hand slipped from her waist to cup between her legs, rubbing her through her panties.

“So forward” Worick muttered, pushing her hair aside and kissing down her neck, nipping over her pulse. “He's good at that.” Chuckling against her skin, the blond's hand moved to loop around her waist, smoothing up and down her sides.

“We're all too blunt” she said slowly, lulling her head to the side while attempting to catch the tall man's lips, Alex lost herself in the feeling and sensation of the men around her. She was safe here. Safe with them and she'd make sure nothing would change that, not even the mistake growing inside her.

 


	2. Chapter Two

A long week later she returned to Theo and went over the finalised details of her decision.

“This is not the final decision, just so you know.” Looking over his files with a nod, the doctor's clever eyes watched for any reluctance. He wouldn't see any however, Alex was sure there was none left in her. Not when the stakes were so high and the risk was so great. “You could always keep it or send it out for adoption.” Shaking her head, Alex kept her hands clenched tightly in her lap, nails digging into her palm, keeping her grounded. 

“No, I can't do that. Not in a world like this.” Making a non-committal noise and leaning back in his chair, Theo hummed.

“Yes but if everyone thought like that the world would grind to a halt. Some of the greatest, brightest things have come from the darkest of times.” He levelled her with a stern gaze. “Just something to think about for the future.” Leaving the rest of the details to Nina, Alex prayed the young woman would be professional enough to keep quiet regardless of her close relationship with Nicolas. Not that she'd know it belonged to him, keeping the father anonymous and under the assumption of a messy client worked well in her favour.

 

“You'll need to take some time off, so make sure the boys treat you nice and pamper you, okay?” Swallowing hard and forcing herself to nod, Alex opened her mouth to beg for her silence but she decided better of it, simply brushing it off. Returning home as soon as she could, the tiny card in her pocket felt heavy as stone. It wasn't anything conspicuous, just a time and date, but paranoia was getting the better of her and she was half tempted to rip it up even before walking in the front door. Worick was sitting behind the single desk in the office, frowning at his calender, cigarette smoking between his fingers.

 

“Alex, can you still do that cele run for the West next week?” Watching her take a seat at the sofa, he narrowed his eye. “Did you get your shirt back?” Cocking her head to the side, looking confused for a moment, she recovered quickly and shook her head.

“Not yet, I don't want to push her. You know how teenagers are.”

“Not really” he admitted, leaning back in his chair and taking a long drag. “It's been a while since I dealt with any real teenagers. Most of the 'teenagers' I know are too troubled to still have childish tendencies like clothes stealing.” Alex stiffened noticeably, back straight against the sofa, hands fisted at her side.

“I suppose most of the kids around here don't really get to be children.” Humming, Worick put his hands behind his head, balancing precariously on the back two legs of his chair.

“It's not always the case. I mean some kids grow up to be perfectly fine, look at Nina, she's perfectly fine, not a kinder soul to be found.”

 

Keeping her head down, staring intently at the floor Alex shrugged, not buying into the conversation, even as Worick crossed the room and came to sit in beside her. “Hey, are you okay? You've been kind of...” making a vague hand gesture he slid in closer, arm looped about her shoulders, dragging her in for a hug. “You know I'm always free to chat yeah?” Biting the inside of her cheek to keep the words from spilling out, Alex nuzzled into his shoulder. She knew she should push him away and leave but it impossible when such warmth and kindness was offered.

“I know.” Hoping to leave it at that, she wasn't surprised when Worick pressed harder.

“And we can talk about anything, seriously. If Nina is stealing your clothes please let me know. I'm sure I can wrestle them back from her.” Cracking a smile despite herself, Alex pushed her face in against the nook of his neck and shoulder, inhaling the soft smell of nicotine and cheap brand shampoo.

“Beating up a fourteen year old girl for clothes. That's low even for you.” Chuckling as he craned his neck to the side and kissed her forehead, Worick sighed.

“Yeah, but I'd do it for you.” Sitting together in peaceful quiet for a time, Alex felt herself almost drifting into a doze, the dull warmth of the afternoon lulling her to sleep. “Alex, I won't ask directly. But I need to know, are you okay?”

 

Tensing and shrugging off his arm, Alex made to stand but stopped as he grabbed her hand, bright blue eye boring into hers with serious intensity. He wouldn't let this go now, like a dog with a bone he would keeping biting at her. But he hadn't asked anything directly so she wouldn't be confessing to anything just yet.

“I'm fine, just a bit tired.”

“And a little sick in the morning, sore and tender?” Raising a near transparent eyebrow in challenge, the blond waited patiently for her reply. Squaring her shoulders and staring him down, there was little point in trying to dance around it now. Her last resort was just to leave and not say a word, but it was unlikely he'd leave it at that. “Alex” the hand on her arm dropped back to catch her hand, thumb rubbing small circles on the flat of her palm. “It's okay, I know.”

“No you don't” unable to catch herself, Alex blinked back the tears. “You don't know anything.” Giving her a sympathetic smile and tugging on her hands, Worick brought her in for a strong hug.

“Then tell me.”

 

Sighing, she could feel herself caving, the overwhelming emotions building up inside her to bubble up in a wave of sobs and slurred words.

“What am I supposed to do? I can't keep it. I mean how could I? With this and here.” Wiping her eyes, she bit her lips before saying too much least she regret it.

“You can do anything you want.” That sounded like Theo's rehearsed speech and she wondered how many times he'd said this to women before. Probably the majority of those who'd worked at _Pussy_ over the years. It certainly didn't make things any easy.

“But I don't know what do to.” It was a relief to say it out loud, especially after keeping silent for so long. Maybe this would help and would make the whole process easier.

 

Leaning back on the sofa, hand straying to his pocket for a cigarettes, the blond thought better of it.

“Well I suppose it depends. What's your first instinct?” Shrugging made only the slightest shift in her shoulder as she smoothed her hands down the front of his shirt, removing all the wrinkles.

“I can't remember” all she remembered was feeling numb, empty and then something close to panic. That probably wasn't a good sign.

“Were you afraid?”

“Yes” that was true and possibly one of the first real, honest emotion she could pin point. Fear and panic.

“Good, then you're thinking straight.” Pulling a face, she stared him down, confused.

“What?” Holding up his hands in a gesture of surrender, Worick explained.

“It's good to be afraid, you're supposed to be scared. If you weren't you'd delusional.” Cupping the side of her face with a gentle hand, he smiled warmly. “You're not alone in this, it's okay.”

 

Taking a deep breathe and swallowing thickly, she nodded. This was what she needed, some kind of support, even if it was just some kind words. And it managed to make her feel amazingly better.

“Thanks.” Trying to put her feelings into words, nothing came out, her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. “What should I do?” The card in her pocket shifted uncomforably, digging into her side. Maybe everything wasn't as black and white as it seemed. Inhaling sharply, Worick pulled out a slender cigarette, keeping it unlit and tapping it on his thigh agitatedly.

“It's not up to me.”

“I know.” Pulling her legs up close to her body, Alex leant against the solid muscle of his chest. “I'm just interested.” If he knew she'd been afraid, maybe he was as well. It was a logical assumption. Biting his lip and humming, the blond sighed.

“I can't tell you what to do nor am I going to try.” He paused, trying to string the right words together. “But it's important to not let fear rule you. It's okay to feel scared, but it's not everything. If you didn't do things because you were scared you'd never do anything.”

 

Fiddling with his shirt, popping and unpopping the button at the V of his neck, Alex waited for him to continue, frustrated when he didn't.

“So you think I should keep it?”

“No” he said slowly “Well maybe” he stopped, tipping his head back to stare at the ceiling as if seeking inspiration. “I'm not you and nor do I hold any sway over you, but yes. I would keep it.” Wincing, Alex sought his gaze, tapping his chin and forcing his head down.

“Even in a mess like this?” Shrugging Worick nodded, looking completely unconcerned.

“Kittens are born everyday in this messes worse than this and they do okay. I could think of worse things.” Scowling as Alex flicked the tip of his nose, the tanned woman shook her head.

“We're not talking about cats here.” Running a hand over his face and rubbing off the sting from her flick, the blond apologised.

“Kitten is an old whore term, sorry.”

“Kitten?” She'd never heard of that, even if her stint in the industry had been short. It sounded like something he'd just made up.

“The girls at Pussy used to say it all the time.” Rubbing the back of his head, he chuckled quietly. “Because if the girls got a kitten, then nobody gets the pussy.” Smiling a little, Alex was caught off guard when Worick moved forward, resting his forehead against hers. “And I'd do it for Nicolas.” Blinking owlishly, Alex could feel her stomach twisting uncomfortably, the implication hitting home stronger then she'd expected.

 

Twilights only lasted so long and Nicolas had already lasted longer than most. Even with the advanced actions and research Theo achieved who knew how long they had together. It had been the initial push that had them brought together, the deadline on Nicolas' lifespan. And although heartbreaking it meant none of them ever took their time together lightly, everything was always new, exciting and the experiences were always worth it. Things as simple and enjoyable as sex, food and now love were the lifeblood between them. But it had also led to this current little problem. Alex wanted to question it further, have Worick spell it out for her own clarity, but she knew deep down what he meant. Nicolas would never have the chance to father any children and in the end he would have no legacy to leave behind. It would just be the memory Alex, Worick and their community had of him. Big Hands, the Deaf Solider but nothing true of his nature and life. Nothing.

 

“But this is not me.” Pressing a quick kiss to her lips and sliding her off his lap, Worick stood with a crack to his back, patting himself down for a lighter. “This is about you and this is your choice. You need to think about this.” Staring down at her hands with severity, Alex could feel the tears in her eyes and prayed they wouldn't fall, at least until Worick left the room. “And tell Nicolas.” Jerking her head up and staring at his retreating figure, Alex felt torn. She hadn't planned on either of them knowing and now it just felt unfair to leave their deaf lover out of the loop, especially as he had a greater claim to know than Worick. “He won't say anything about it, he probably won't even care. Just let him know.” Watching him close the door with a casual wave, Alex flopped sideways onto the sofa, her head abuzz with a mass of new information and consideration. _Tell Nicolas_ Worick said with a casual shrug. That was easier said then done.

 


	3. Chapter Three

Waiting for Nicolas to return from his rounds was like waiting for an eternity. Worick had left her with a quick kiss, muttering something about searching out some of the guild for a night on the town.

“You'll need some time alone” he'd said, straightening his hair and eye patch. “Just to talk things over.” Signing the expression for love to her, he grinned before closing the door.

 

Listening to his foot steps echo down the stairs, Alex suddenly wished he hadn't left. It would have made things so much easier if he'd stayed. He could have told Nicolas and then she could have just sat in the background, nodding and looking sorry for herself. But that wouldn't be fair, it wasn't his mistake, it was hers. Making herself a cup of tea and lingering on the sofa, there was nothing left to do but wait. Wait and think. Which didn't help anything. It seemed like that was all she was doing these days. Counting down the days until this could all be over but doubting her every thought along the way. This needed to end and soon.

 

She'd been staring out the window just watching the night roll in when Nicolas returned. The view wasn't great, but even in the city and through the dark some strong stars managed to shine bright. _Even in the darkness things still manage to shine._ Putting a hand to her stomach as she heard the door swig open, Alex turned with resolve. She would tell Nicolas. Just to get this off her chest and have all cards laid on the table. She was determined that nothing would change her mind and yet already Worick's words were breaking down her walls and making her rethink everything.

 

The Twilight looked good. Beautiful even in the dark of the night, shrouded in shadows and cloaked in black. His face was too sharp to be considered traditionally handsome, not like Worick but to Alex the edge and cut of his rough cheek bones and jaw were perfect. The dark tan of his skin and the inky pitch of his hair tied his whole being together. Dark, mysterious, silent and just a little bit of a meanie. Nicolas Brown, the father of her child.

_**Hello**_ she signed, flashing him a smile as he switched on the light and followed her hands. _**Good run?**_ Nodding, he dropped his sword in the corner before coming in to sit beside her, looking down the dark stair case to the kitchen. _**Worick is out**_ she said, taking a deep breathe and watching him settle in against the soft cushions. He was probably tired, this probably wasn't the right time and yet she pushed on, keeping her focus and swallowing her panic.

 

_**Where's the cat?**_ Opening her mouth to speak but pausing as Nicolas beat her to it, she stared at him confused.

“What cat?” The black stray that lingered about around the stairs, always expecting a free feed? Or the nasty ill tempered tabby that only liked Nicolas and that hissed at her every time she walked past its trash can. _**The kitten**_ he signed. _**You were talking about a kitten.**_ Freezing up as she pieced the signs together, her heart almost stopped. He knew. How did he know, what had Worick said? When had he had time to say anything, he'd been with her most of the afternoon. How?

“K-kitten?” What was what he'd really meant? Checking the signs again and confirming cat, she shuffled uncomfortably in her seat.

“Not that kind of kitten” she said slowly. Unable to move her hands the way she wanted, keeping them limp at her side instead. Frowning Nicolas looked confused, his head cocked to the side and eyes narrowed suspiciously.

_** Is it a surprise?  ** _ He asked. Shaking her head, Alex almost thought it humorous. 

“No” she said, signing as she spoke or at least trying to. “How do you know? About the kitten” she added, watching him closely. Leaning back further in his seat, Nicolas shrugged. 

_** Was watching through the window  ** _ he said, grinning at her appalled look.  _** Not as alone as you think.  ** _ Wincing, her mind racing, Alex held her head in her hands trying desperately to work out how to fix the situation.

 

He obliviously didn't know enough whore slang to understand the meaning of the term and somehow that made it just that little bit worse. Two mistakes to clear up now. 

“It's not a cat” she started out, pulling her courage together and ploughing ahead. “And don't spy on us like that again, it's rude.” Shrugging he acknowledged her before indicting she should continue. Swallowing thickly, her mouth dry, she knew it was now or never. If she backed out now it would just lead to some made up excuse and would probably leave her riddled with guilt for the rest of her life. No biggy. “It's a baby” she gushed, her hands making the signs on reflex, dancing between them as she tried to explain. “But it's okay, it's not going to change anything I'm going to get rid of it-” 

 

Caught off guard, a large hand wrapped around her flailing wrist, stilling her. Nicolas' dark eyes were intense, bright, almost feverish like he was on a Celebre high. Maybe this had been a bad idea, maybe she shouldn't have admitted anything. This was going to draw a wedge between them she just knew it. Then Worick was going to hate her and she'd be cast aside, working back on the streets like she had before. 

“I know” shocked by the use of his words, Alex watched in wonder as he held her hands, threading their fingers together and holding tight. “I know about the baby.” Speechless Alex almost rolled her eyes in frustration. Had everyone known except for her? How had he even picked up on it? Worick knew to look for the signs but she wasn’t even sure Nicolas had even seen a baby let alone taken any interest in a pregnant woman. 

 

_** How?  ** _ Signing with sharp, agitated gestures, she scowled as he shrugged. “No” she said out loud. “How did you know?” Maybe Twilights could detect changes like pregnancy in people. Maybe he could hear the beat of a second heart or smell the subtle change in her scent. The possibilities were limitless. 

_** Your boobs are bigger  ** _ pointing to her chest with a nod, Nicolas grinned.  _** And you're sleeping more.  ** _ Staring down at her breasts and unsure what to make of his deduction, Alex was speechless. 

“That could mean anything” she decided eventually. “But you're right.” Sighing, she shook her head. “I'm so sorry.” 

 

_** Not your fault  ** _ touching her cheek tenderly, Nicolas looked sheepish all of a sudden.  _** It's mine. ** _

_** Both  ** _ she signed, suddenly feeling a little better about the whole thing. Everything was out in the open now, everyone was on the same page and there were no secrets between them. 

_** You want it gone?  ** _ Reading the signs and cringing, Alex felt sick at the brutality of it. Gone. Yes, she supposed she did. A place like this wasn’t fit to raise children, surely he'd agree. 

 

Except Worick hadn't. In fact he almost seemed keen on the idea. Maybe their fast approaching mid life was weighing heavy on them. Did men get clucky? Certainly not these ones at least. 

“I don't have a choice” choosing her words carefully, she moved her lips with clear precision, ensuring every word was easy to read. “I can't keep a baby here. In Ergastulum. It's dangerous, a burden. How could we bring them into a world like this?” She paused, letting her words sink in. It was impossible to pick what he'd say. Nicolas was unpredictable at the best of times and now was no different. 

 

_** Do you want a baby?  ** _ Staring at him for a long while, Alex struggled to breathe, the question knocking the wind right out of her. No one had asked her that yet. No one had even considered that she might even want to keep the baby and that included herself. Could she do it? Could she really be that selfish to doom herself and a children in this god forsaken world? 

 

Maybe.

 

She’d never really considered it. Squeezing her eyes shut Alex envisioned a million possibilities she hadn't even allowed herself. Holding the baby for the first time, feeling it alive and wiggling in her arms. Would it have Nicolas' dark eyes or her deep blue pigmentation? She could see herself sitting in this room, the windows open, breeze blowing in. The chubby, little toddler playing on the floor, big blue eyes staring up at her as it crawled towards the door eagerly awaiting their fathers to return home. How would Nicolas treat the child? Like a treasure. With the same love and admiration he gave Nina. Playful and gentle, like a baby bird or tempered glass. And Worick... Look up  _ daddy material _ in the dictionary and there was probably a giant picture of him. The blond was brilliant with babies and no doubt he would treat this one as one of his own. Together, all three of them, they could give this baby a chance. A real, half decent chance, more then any of them had ever gotten. A family of four, all of them together. 

 

Shaking her head as she came out of her fantasy, Alex could see she’d left Nicolas hanging on baited breathe. A little while longer and he might have passed out. This was important to him too she realised, even though it was all up to her, he was there, ready and willing to offer support.  _ They both were  _ she thought, thinking back to Worick and their little discussion that afternoon. Neither of them were telling her what to do. Both were just there and ready when needed, happy with any choice she made. Luck only sometimes would smile upon her. But when it did, it shone bright and strong. Like the little stars in the midnight sky. Or like the little spark growing within her. 

 

“I don't know” she said finally, letting him off the hook with a shrug. “I'm still trying to find my way.” Licking her dry lips, she reached out slowly, brushing his bangs back from his forehead. “Thank you.” Blinking at her, his brow creasing in a confused frown, her smile only grew.  _** Choices  ** _ she signed.  _** Thank you for giving me choices. ** _

 


	4. Chapter Four

At the pre decided date and time dictated on the tiny card, Alex returned to Theo, heart in her throat. Had it really been week? What a whirlwind of a week. Between two new permanent jobs for Benriya, a scattered few casual placements and their motley crew had been on the go at all hours. It had been a nice distraction though. Alex had been so busy she hadn't even had time to think about the baby and her up coming clinical visit. 

 

Neither of the others had mentioned it. In fact they seemed fit on ignoring it. Last night around dinner the elephant in the room had all but killed the atmosphere, but they'd powered through it and it was left well alone. That was almost truth, she thought with a bitter taste in her mouth. Worick had been most insistent that she be in charge of Connie and baby Luca's protection detail. Protection of course meant little more than loitering around Connie and Marco's apartment being ordered around by Loretta who appeared to be running for god mother of the year. Alex knew he meant well, but coming out of the job she’d felt a little too tired, cranky and frankly sick of children all together. It certainly did little to promote her maternal urges, but it yet again proof that they were still supportive of her possible decision to keep it. 

 

Coming into Theo's office, she was immediately greeted by Nina, her usual wide smile absent. Like a stab to gut Alex understood why in a seconds. Theo had probably lectured her on the matter of confidentiality but finding out the circumstances was probably throwing the young teen out.

“Hi” the older woman ventured cautiously, waiting to read her reaction before continuing. 

“Good afternoon” the teen said with cool superiority, chin tipped slightly up as she set about making a bed, crisp sheets falling into place with a practised flick of her wrist. “Doctor Theo is with a patient for the minute, if you'd like to take a seat he will be with you shortly and we'll start preparing for the procedure.”

 

Suppressing a shiver at the ominous sounding word, Alex was thankful to take a seat before her knees gave way. The sterile smell of the surgery made her skin crawl and as the minutes ticked by in silence, she knew she had to try and clear the air. 

“How are your studies?” It was an easy start to small talk and she expected Nina to bite immediately, but instead the youngster seemed set on ignoring her. 

“Fine.” Usually so bubbly and chatty, Nina's obvious coldness was a testament to her age. No matter how mature, no matter the violence and death she’d seen, she wasn't quite old enough to hold a true objective view.

 

This baby was her faux brother's child, she probably felt as if she was being robbed of a niece or a nephew. Or more likely a little sibling. Listening to the muted end of Theo's conversation with another patron of the clinic, Alex still jumped as the door of the side office opened and a couple walked out through the office, promptly escorted by Nina who seemed keen on any avenue of escape. 

“Alex, please come in. We'll finalise everything before starting.” Pushing herself up to stand was far too much effort and the distance between her chair and the office felt far longer then it actually was. Closing the door behind her, her palms were sweaty as she took a seat across from the sharp eyed doctor, heart racing. “Breathe.” Prompting her as he shuffled a stack of files to the corner of his desk, Theo's piercing gaze gave her little comfort as he inquired about her decision.

“Have your feelings on the matter changed at all? Please be aware that you can still say no. No one is going to force you and no one is going to know.”

 

Letting out a heavy breathe and inhaling deeply, Alex stood her ground. The tidal wave of emotions ranging from fear to excitement, to terror and joy battled within her, making her decision all the more difficult. 

“I...” choking on her words and coughing to clear her throat, she wished desperately for a glass of water. An unhelpful, unhappy Nina however was probably unlikely to offer one to her. Trying again, she stared past Theo's gaze to the wall behind his head, hoping it would make things easier. “I'm keeping the baby.” 

 

It came out as a whisper. A breathless sentence barely strung together and yet she’d managed it and now it was out in the open. Folding his hands in front of him with the cool of a man who didn't appear all that surprised, Theo remained neutral.

“Are you sure? Another couple of weeks and there'll be no going back.” _There was no going back as it was_ , Alex thought with dread. Not now that she’d said it, not now that she’d voiced it and given motivation behind it. This probably wasn't the right time, but never was probably the right time. Things had always seemed to happen to her for a reason. And this was just one of those things, she could work through it. Especially as she now knew she wasn’t alone. 

“I'm sure.” Nodding, she smiled ever so slightly, caught up in the relief of the moment. “I think it's the right thing to do.” 

“But is it what you want?” Leaning a little further over the desk, Theo pushed his glasses up his nose only to have them slide back down again seconds later. “This will no doubt affect your standing at Benriya. I'm sure they won’t kick you out onto the streets, but an office bound receptionist probably wasn't what they were looking for when they took you on board.” 

 

Hilariously enough it was exactly what they'd hired her for, but Theo didn't need to know. He just needed to know she was going to be okay.

“It's fine” she assured him. “They understand.” Filling in the gaps without the need for further explanation, Theo suddenly grinned. 

“Oh, I see. I wasn't aware your relationship ran that deep.” Reaching out to snatch up a pen, he fished out a page from the stack and began to scribe blindly. “I assume this is Nicolas' doing then. Unless Worick managed by some sheer miracle of divine intervention.” Frowning at his choice of words, Alex nodded slowly. 

 

“Correct. Why? Does it make a difference?” 

“Not at all.” Pen still moving restlessly across the page, Theo spun his chair around before delving into a filing cabinet beside his desk. “It does however make things a little more difficult.” Heart rate increasing, a bubble of worry readied to pop within Alex's chest.

“Why?” Sorting through collection of folders, Theo plonked a thick folder down on the desk between them, flipping it open one handed. 

“Nothing too serious, just the usual risk that comes from half breeds.” He paused, eyes scanning the file. “Firstly we're going to start limiting your intake of the medication.” Nodding Alex had expected that. Truthfully she only used them on particularly bad days and seldom for weeks at a time, cutting back wouldn't be an issue. “But I'm also going to prescribe you a minimal dose of stabiliser to take through out your gestation. It's common practice nowadays and the results are promising. It reduces the child's need for Celebrer.” 

 

Tensing at the mere mention if the drug, Alex was reluctant to admit she could see the sense in it. Her body could not product the same level of Celebrer that Twilights naturally could. It would no doubt be vital for the little one's survival.

“What are the chances of it being born okay?” It was without a doubt one of her biggest fears. A sickly half breed who'd barely survived days out of the womb, it would probably break her. If the risks were too high she’d just be done with it now and lose the heart ache. Theo looked unable to follow her concerns but cotton on after repeating the question to himself. 

“The same as any normal human child.” Giving her a genuine smile that managed to make the blue of his eyes, Theo appeared remarkably pleased. “I think you’ll be fine. With the right medication and the right care you'll both be fine.”

  
  


 

It had been a long while locked away in the office talking with Theo and Alex had left with her mind and arms full. It wasn't surprising that the doctor was so enthusiastically interested in a half breed baby. Nicolas had been his test subject for years and getting to see and study the offspring of his favourite pet project was probably a dream come true. Peering around the office, Alex tried to find Nina. She didn’t appear to be anywhere in the office and with the door to the roof wide open. It wasn't a long search. 

“Oh you're ready. I'm sorry, I did hear the doctor call me.” Getting up from her seat and dusting herself off, she refused to look Alex in the eye brushing right past her and heading for the stairs. 

“Nina” calling her name, the teen paused on the top step, turning with anger and heat in her eyes. Smiling coaxingly at her, Alex pushed her hair back from her eyes. “I'm keeping it. I'm not going through with the surgery.” Blinking slowly, her eyes growing wide, the youngster suddenly beamed. Wrapping her arms around the older woman with a happy yelp, Alex was overwhelmed by her reaction. 

“Congratulation! Worick-san and Nico are going to be so happy.” Stepping away and looking nervous, she adjusted her her outfit awkwardly. “I mean, if it's what you really want.” Chuckling at her mature front, Alex welcomed her hug, siking herself up for the incoming challenge to come. 

  
  


 

The walk home was impossibly long. She almost wished she'd taken up Nina's offer for the company on the walk. But she couldn't take the little nurse in training away from her important work. It was her break through that had helped create the Celebrer stabiliser that was now creating waves in the Twilight community. A balance of Celebrer that helped them grow and develop at a near normal, human rate. And all because of Theo and Nina's hard work. Turning the corner, the Benriya offices coming into view, Alex speed up just a little, her heart racing as she dashed up the stairs but paused mid step. What if they were unhappy with her decision? Maybe their eagerness had been a ploy to put her off, a kind of reverse physiology. Stomach rolling as a cold wash of terror ran through her, she jumped as the door was pulled open before her.

“I thought I heard you arrive. How are you feeling?”

 

Looking her up and down with a careful eye, Worick stepped aside and offered her some room. Taking a steady breathe, she smiled at him, leaning up for a kiss as she passed.

“I'm fine. Is Nicolas around?” Narrowing his eye and following her through the office, the blond gestured down the stairs.

“Yeah, downstairs. Do you want me to get him?” Nodding as she sat, Alex folded her hands in her lap and waiting patiently. Stamping a foot at the top of the stairs and slamming the door closed twice, Nicolas suddenly appeared, shirtless and scowling. Pointing at their companion, sitting demure on the sofa, Worick pushed him towards the seating. Sitting opposite her, their faces serious, Alex almost backed out. Could she really do this? Everything had seemed so very easy back at Theo's office but now confronted by this reality, she was terrified. “Alex?”

 

Looking up with wide eyes, she tried to form some of communication. Her hands like lead at her sides, her lips numb and mouth dry. It should be simple, string together a couple of words and everything would be out in the open.

 

**“** _**I'm having the kitten”** _

 

Whooping in laughter and slapping a hand to Nicolas' back with a grin, Worick looked like he was about to explode with happiness.

“Yes yes yes. I knew it. Knew it.” Sliding forward to kneel in front of her, the blond wrapped his arms around her waist, cuddling in close to her side, smiling and babbling like an idiot. Chuckling, her hand resting on his hair, Alex sought out Nicolas's gaze with a shiver of dread. Worick might be overjoyed but it was always so hard to pin point what Nicolas was feeling or thinking. He'd been so neutral on the matter during their brief discussion the week before, he could be resentful and angry and she'd probably never even know it.

 

But there was no aggression in his eyes, no anger or anything she could class as negative. That feverish light however was back with a vengeance, bright and glittering. That was a good sign.

_**Changed your mind?** _ Watching his hands and nodding, Alex shrugged awkwardly. 

_**“Is that okay?”** _ A loaded question but one she needed to ask, especially since their tiny little office structure would probably change very shortly. Their whole life was going to change very shortly. 

“Of course.” Squeezing in closer to her side, Worick pressed a kiss to her flat stomach. “We were prepared for anything, but this is by far the best result.” Blushing, Alex beckoned Nicolas closer, relieved when he came without a fuss, settling in beside her with an arm about her shoulders.

_**“Do you think it'll be okay?”** _ The elongated pause between them made her nervous, but she was quickly put out of her misery, when Nicolas leant in and kissed her on the cheek. 

“Yes.” Comforted by the single word, she leant into the security and warmth they offered, feeling more content and settled than she had in weeks.

 


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is complete! It has been for months, I've just been very lazy and unable to edit. But that's finished now as well and should be on a weekly upload schedule from now on. Thank y'all so much for keeping up with the series. Poor Kohske! She's been very unwell but since her activity on Twitter has jumped recently hopefully they'll be some new chapters coming out within the new year. *fingers crossed.

“We'll have to move.” Staring at the side wall of the office, Worick rubbed a hand over his chin. “Or smash down this wall.”

“Oh no!” Cutting in quickly and shaking her head, Alex stared at the sturdy looking wall with a grimace. “Please don't do that.”

“Why not?” The blond huffed, kicking at the bottom of the skirting with a hiss. “The building next door is interdependently owned. We'll just buy it out and do some reconstruction of our own.” Rubbing her temples with a sigh, Alex didn't look convinced.

“With what money?” Waving her off as he collapsed behind the desk, the blond tapped a pen to the table top agitatedly.

“We have the money, don't worry about it.” Rolling the pen between his fingers, he put it to his lips, chewing the on end restlessly. “We've been meaning to do it for years, just never got a round to it. Now is as good a time as ever.” Coming to sit on the corner of desk, arms crossed, Alex watched him nibble the pen.

“Quitting is going well then?”    

 

With their new  _ development  _ in play the small office location wasn't the only thing that was undergoing a change. Although she hadn't asked and in truth hadn't even thought of it, Worick was set upon giving up smoking. He made the resolve due to health both for himself and the baby, but Alex was sceptical upon how long it would last. Two days in and he was increasing more cranky and his nails were almost bitten to the point of painful. It was considerate and no doubt the first in a long line of sacrifices they were going to have to make, but Alex still felt bad for him.

“I'll manage.” Leaning across the desk and running a finger along his jawline and nose, she pouted.

“I'm so sorry.” Capturing her hand and tugging her in closer, the blond winked.

“Whatever for? For pushing me to finally quit? Hardly.”

“I'm not pushing you.” She responded with a frown, feeling increasingly more guilty. Reaching out and resting his hand against her stomach, Worick shook his head.

“You kind of did. But it'll be worth it.” Craning his head to the side, he hummed. “When will you start to show?” Placing a hand atop his, Alex was unsure of an answer.

“I don't really know, I can't even remember when Connie started to show. I just remember she was flat one minute and then all plump and round the next.”

“Yeah” reminiscing fondly, the blond stood. “Probably should pick up some parenting books or something.” Leaning down to kiss he as he passed Worick had a determined glint in his eye. “But first I'm going to see about this wall.”

  
  
  


Pulling the blanket up further over her head, Alex yawned, rubbing her eyes as the light of the dull afternoon filtered in through the tiny bedroom window. She'd been sleeping so much of late, both a blessing and curse. After so many years of struggling with slumber in a love hate relationship, she was somewhat thankful that it came so easily now. But in the same sense it always felt like too much. She should be out helping the Benriya and yet by three o'clock she was ready for a nap and was out like a light for a good hour at least. _ Weak. _

 

Pushing the thought as and groaning as she rolled over, the first loud thud almost gave her a heart attack, the second put her a little more at ease. If there was no screaming or the smell of smoke it probably wasn't serious. There was a good chance it was just Worick working out his quitting frustrations. Whether he was fighting against Nicolas or just playing with him was a different matter. By the third thump it was already grating on her nerves, especially as the wall beside the bed shook and the ceiling rattled. Swinging her legs off the bed and hopping up, she pulled on a loose button down before yanking open the door and glaring out into the office. The scene playing out before her was an honest to god surprise, bordering on shocking.

“Oh my god. What are you doing?” Worick had obviously lost his mind. The lack of nicotine must have been shutting down some part of his brain because there was a huge hole in the wall and both her lovers were holding hammers. Large hammers, the kind used in construction and building sites. Or banging massive hole in walls.

“Oh I'm sorry Alex-chan! I forgot you were sleeping in there.” Tossing her a scarf Nicolas gestured around his face. The dust stirred up from the impromptu renovations was heavy in the air and coating everything in a thin layer of sand and soot. “We're building!”

 

“Building what?” She shot back, coming over to stand beside them and stare into the wreckage. “And why?” Swinging the hammer high to sit over his shoulder, Worick grinned.

“We're expanding the offices. Plenty of room plus a nice spot for a nursery and a balcony.” Tightening his hold on the hammer handle with a wild grin, he prompted the other two back a couple of paces. Watching him swing wide and hard, Alex flinched as heavy stab of brick and white wall were pushed to the side. Coming to stand in front of her, shielding her from any possible wayward plaster, Nicolas tightened the scarf about his face, dropping his hammer to the floor.

**_He can smoke on the balcony._ ** Laughing, the suddenness and eagerness of his actions made a lot of sense now.

**_Well so long as you got the okay to break the wall down I suppose it’s fine._ ** With mouths covered it was easier to just sign but even through the dust and debris, Alex picked up on his smile and evil glint in the Twilight’s dark eyes. **_You did get an okay didn’t you?_ ** Shrugging as he heaved the hammer up, Nicolas gestured for her to move back to the bedroom before taking a running start up and swinging madly. Rolling her eyes and retreating to the bedroom, it was best to just ignore this and hope it worked for the best.     ****

  
  
  


The coming days were filled with further renovations, the office growing into a large sprawling work and living area. It was surprising how much more light the new room had and there was a whole new downstairs quarters, coupled with a set of small rooms to the side. And of course the balcony. Worick's beloved balcony.

“Did you really ever expect to actually give up smoking for good?” Sweeping for the third time, Alex poked the broom in the blond's direction. Perched on the railing of the balcony, legs swinging off the edge, cigarette in hand Worick looked in complete bliss. Hair free and singing softly under his breathe, he lulled his head back to smile at her.

“I'll cut back” he said, taking a long drag. “Promise.”

 

Standing in the centre of the room, Alex could only imagine what this space would eventually be used for. She could already see the posters lining the walls, the different areas broken up into work and office, with the other focused on a more domestic feel. Coming to stand beside him out in the open air and taking a deep breathe, Alex looked around at the high brick wall and shadows cast down by the tall buildings surrounding them.

“It's not a big deal.” Stubbing out his smoke and swinging his legs back over the rails, Worick sighed.

“Alex, this is a big deal. This whole thing is a big deal.” Brushing her hair back from her face with a huff, she glared at him with fierce intent.

“I know. I just...”

 

It was hard to explain. The emotions, the fear, the constant risk, was it really all worth it?

“It's okay to be a little scared.” Worick offered, arms slinking around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. “Don't be afraid, remember you're not alone in this.”

“That's what scares me the most.” Rounding on him, blue eyes bright and concerned, Alex frowned. “I don't want to be a burden on you.” Catching movement from behind Worick's broad frame, Nicolas peered around the tiny balcony door, eyebrow raised in inquiry. Inviting him to join them, Alex held out her hand, pleased when he took it. “I'm already weak enough as it is. This is just going to make me even more fragile.” Looking thoughtfully, Worick shrugged almost carelessly.

“It's fine, please don't worry.” Opening her mouth to protest, Nicolas quickly stemmed her complainant, a finger over her lips. “We want this” the blond man continued. “It doesn't make you weak, it makes you stronger than all of us.” He grinned. “You're literally making an entire new person. I can't do that. He can't do that.” Frowning at his choice of words, Nicolas agreed regardless, large hands engulfing hers with a squeeze. “It's a miracle Alex, all babies are. Please see it as such.”

 

It was a big ask, but their words of support were comforting and held enough honesty to put some of her fears at ease. But it would take some time for her to accept the situations and hopefully they could be patient enough to deal with her.

“I will” she said, pausing for a second to correct. “I'll try.” Giving her a quick kiss before stepping back, Worick smiled.

“That's all we ask.”


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who has two thumbs and an itty bitty crush on Gallahad? This gal... opps

Being bachelors for so long Alex wasn't quite sure where most of the Benriya's furniture had come from.  With boxes of files, old books and literal rubbish stacked up downstairs, the rest of the office supplies weren't in particularly great shape either. But they didn't need much. A bed, a crib and compact little gate blocking one half of the house from the other. The new bed was a welcomed surprised. Alex had assumed 'bed shopping' was a euphemism for something far more carnal, but after finishing a shift at _ Bastard _ she'd returned home to find the larger of their new bedrooms occupied by a bed far bigger than initially expected.

“You got it from a whore house didn't you?” Smoothing down the sheets and tentatively touching the mattress, she half expected it to be sticky.

 

Standing in the doorway and watching her closely, Worick waved her off.

“All you need to know is that's clean, let's leave it at that.” Shaking her head and fluffing up the blankets and sheets, Alex looked away for a second only to have a dark flash zip beneath her neat linen and ruin her attempts at a neatly made bed.

“Nicolas! Get out of there, you're worse than Betty.” At least their occasional cat visitor didn't take up that much space and even being relatively short his shoulder were broad and he was a compact lump of a man, making it hard to straighten the sheets. It was amusing though and obviously his playfulness was an indication of his good mood.

 

Bending over to straighten the comers of the blankets, she was snagged as Nicolas tugged her onto the mattress.

“Careful.” She scolded, half tempted to flick his forehead as punishment. Instead she just indulged in the softness of the sheets and the warmth of Nicolas’ embrace. Palm resting over the valley of her hip, his whole hand spanned over the growing roundness at her centre. She supposed it must have happened gradually but it felt more as if she'd stepped out of bed one morning and it was just there. Even stranger had been the developing flutter. Starting small and confusing, Alex was sure something was amiss, until a giggling Connie had stated the obvious. The baby was moving, alive and well, wiggling and squirming. It shouldn't have been such a shock and yet Alex had almost passed out with excitement. It was real, it was there and she could feel it. Along with the growing bump, a growing appetite and a growing office space, she was pleased the handymen had been so patient and supportive.

 

At first she hadn't noticed and had just assumed they were leaving her to herself. They'd already given her extra space and a safe home, what more could she ask of them? However what she hadn't known was the countless questions Nicolas had asked Nina or the growing pile of pregnancy books Worick had acquired. They probably knew more about the whole process by this point than she did but she still had a step up on both of them. Thousands of years of instinct had her moving into mother mode without her even knowing.

**Make it move.** Nuzzling in close behind her, cheek to cheek, Nicolas caught her attention, pointing to her stomach expectantly. Scoffing Alex was only able to shrug.

“It moves when it wants, I can't make it.” Worick had asked much the same request of her when she first expressed worried about the flutters.

**Does it hurt?** It was a strange question, but with having such a powerful Twilight for a father, maybe he was concerned the baby would hurt her from the inside out.

“No, it just kind of...” Struggling for a suitable description and failing, she rolled over to face him. Digging her hands in under his shirt, she lightly brushed her fingers over his abdomen. “It's kind of like that.” Pulling a thoughtful face, he nodded, placing his hands back over the small bump.

“Tickles?” Humming, Alex was reluctant to agree, it was certainly more foreign than tickles, but it was close.

“Sometimes, it's annoying when I'm trying to sleep.”

 

Sliding down the mattress and resting his face on the bed beside her stomach, Nicolas sighed.

“Nina says I need to start talking to it.” Eyebrow raised and smiling, Alex hid behind her hand as he scowled.

“Why?”

“So it knows me. She says it'll like me more if it can recognise my voice.” Humming, her fingers threading through his dark hair, Alex shrugged.

“Sounds like she’s teasing you.” Did babies react to voices inside the womb? She vaguely recalled something about music and development, but not a lot more unfortunately. Maybe Nina was right, maybe she should be talking to it more instead of consciously trying to forget about it.

“It likes Worick.” Tapping on his chin and tipping his head up, Alex frowned.

“What makes you say that?” Shuffling against the mattress, the Twilight rubbed the back of his head awkwardly before signing.

**He talks all the time.** Laughing out loud and leaning down, she gave him a small kiss.

“Don't worry, it likes you to. We all do.”

  
  
  


 

The room they'd initially planned as the nursery had been small enough and clean enough that Alex hadn't been concerned with doing much more to it. And besides, they didn't need much. Something soft and safe for the baby to sleep in should have surely been enough. Apparently not, especially once Connie and Loretta had gotten wind of it.

“You'll need to have it painted and get some shelves.” Pausing, tea cup halfway to her mouth Alex blink owlishly.

“Really?”

“Trust me” Connie replied, jostling a baby Luca in her lap. “The more space the better. Because it'll fill up so quick and then it pretty much impossible to make more.” Making a mental note to add additional shelving to the list of things to consider, Alex thanked her for her wisdom. Sitting in a locked back room of _ Bastard _ the trio of ladies were enjoying an afternoon of tea in quiet company. Alone save the presences of a stoic Gallahad who stood beside the door, the three women lavished their attentions on Connie and Marco's young son while nibbling sweet treats and pastries.

“I don't know why you didn't just move.” Pushing aside her empty tea cup, Loretta sighed. “I know the Benriya could afford a new headquarters and preferably one that was a little more child friendly.” Running her fingers around the rim of her cup, Alex shrugged.

“They've been there for a long time and with the other building now there's plenty of space.”

 

Shaking her head Loretta didn't look convinced.

“Too many stairs” she muttered, fixing Alex a stern look. “You’re going to have to install gates.”

“And locks on everything.” Bouncing Luca on her knee to make him giggle Connie sighed dramatically. “All and every gun under lock and key, how my parents did it with me I'll never know.” Hiding behind her cup, Alex managed a small smile. It was nice knowing that others shared her concerns or been through it all already.

“They're treating you well aren’t they?” Looking up as the Christano head directed a question to her, Alex blushed.

“They're behaving better than I expected.” That was true didn’t give too much away. The Benriya needed to retain their badass reputation, especially with such a weakness soon to be arriving. They were all good and friends now, but come a couple of years down the track all that could change dramatically.

“I'd pay good money to see that.” Laughing along with her giggling son, Connie hummed. “Especially Worick.” Thinking about the blond's constant words of support and research, Alex nodded slowly. 

“They're both very good.”

 

“Well I'm glad” Loretta said, gesturing with grabby hands for Luca as she sat further forward in her seat. “Pregnant women need to be pampered.” Passing off her baby, Connie nodded.

“Marco was so good with me. Attentive and patient, couldn't have asked for anything more.” Pausing suddenly, she back peddled quickly. “But he did tend to get a little... over protective.”

“Overprotective would be an understatement.” Taking the baby in a swaddle of kisses and cuddles, Loretta rolled her eyes. “He would have put you under house arrest if he’d been allowed. And the Twilights are even worse.” Looking over her shoulder with eyes narrowed, she frowned at her tall Twilight guardian. “If I remember correctly you never let Liza even leave the district.”  
“Or walk around alone, always in pairs.” Crossing his arms with an affirmative nod, Gallahad looked anything but sorry. “Just in case.”

“Over protective” the teenage said with a huff. “I suppose if you managed to arrive here without them holding your hand you're doing pretty well.” Holding her tongue but unable to stop the smile Alex thought back to Nicolas silently walking by her side all the way to the front door. Maybe they were more protective than she'd noticed.

“I think you'll be fine.” Sitting back in her seat with a sigh, Connie ran a hand through her short hair. “You've got your head screwed on the right way and the Benriya are backing you up. Everything will fall into place.” Glancing at her son, Connie smiled at her encouragingly. “Just keep up your chin up and you'll be fine. Take it as the blessing it is.”     

  
  


 

It wasn't surprising to find Nina in their larger apartment and yet the youngster nearly bit her tongue when Alex popped her head around the front door, checking for any of Worick's clients.

“Alex! I didn't know you'd be back so soon.” Jumping to stand behind a guilty looking Nicolas, Nina looked equally suspicious.

“Gallahad was nice enough to walk me home.” Narrowing her eyes as she watched them closely, beyond the mark shift arch between the two apartments she could see the nursery door open. “Is everything okay?” Pouting, Nina came out from behind the Twilight with a sigh.

“We were hoping to get it done before you got back. It was going to be a surprise.” Cocking her head to the side, confused, Alex dropped her bag on the coffee table before sliding past the guilty pair and making a beeline for the nursery. Theo had informed them that sexing the baby would be a difficult if not near impossible task. Twilight children were notoriously  difficult to ultrasound clearly, their naturally high metabolism and heart rate wreaking havoc with the medical equipment. Alex hadn't wanted to know anyway. Boy or girl it didn't matter, she just wanted a healthy baby.

 

Hand resting subconsciously atop the bump at her middle, Alex peered inside the small room cautiously. Eyes wide she stepped back on reflex bumping into a solid wall of Nicolas as she did.

“This... why?” Initially the room and it's spars furniture had been an off white. With plain white walls and limited toys, gifts from their associates but nothing they bought themselves.

“Because it was boring.” Coming around Alex and touching her bulging stomach tenderly, Nina smiled. “Babies need colour and stimulus. And even though we won't know what it is until it's born this kind of works right?” Looking around the room with a soft smile, Alex almost felt close to tears. Pale blues and pastel pinks all braided and linked together, making a distinct pattern and decor. The off white of the room didn't look as harsh now, the edge taken off and replaced with gentle colours. It was exciting and inviting, the exact kind of room you wanted when welcoming a new, little being into the world.

“It's beautiful.” Catching herself before her voice turned into a sob, Alex rubbed her watering eyes before reaching out and pulling her young friend in for a hug. “Thank you so much.” Slim arms moved up around her waist, securely anchoring them together as Nina beamed happily.

“I'm glad! I kept pestering Nico about it but he was all 'oh I don't think Alex would like that.'” Shooting the Twilight a sour look, the youngster gasped as a flutter kick came from within. “Oh it's moving.”

  
Smiling at her reaction, Alex snuck Nicolas a look, trying in vain to gauge his reaction. Why would he think she wouldn't like it? All she'd been trying to do was make this transition easy for all of them. Did they think she didn't care? Feeling Nina's hands cup the bulge with soft little hands, Alex smiled. How could she not care, especially when the little one was bringing so much joy even before being born. “I think it's happy.” Nina said with a firm nod, rubbing the top of the older woman’s stomach. “Here Nico feel.” Reaching out to the Twilight the small girl took his large hand placed it on the curve. Trying to catch his eye under the dark sway of his bangs, Alex took her own institutive, as was generally needed when working with the silent man. Tapping a finger under his chin, she forced his head up, giving him a warm smile.

“Thank you for this, it looks so much brighter.” Not that the dull white and almost sterile setting had been _ that _ bad. But this was so much better, real, bright and alive. It had her heart skip a beat.

“Why are we all- Oh wow, Nina did you do this?” Stepping around the door and taking in the room with a broad smile, Worick's appearance broke the heavy atmosphere. “It looks like a real nursery now.”       

Picking up a small square of cloth, folded neatly atop a set of drawns, Alex couldn't even muster the words to convey her thanks. How was it even possible? They'd done so much for her and would continue to do so in the future. She'd done her best in return and they knew it, keeping their balance straight and true. Catching the Twilight's eye, Alex signed her thanks, keeping her hands close to her heart, hoping it would cover the depth and truth of her appreciation. Smiling in return, a real smile from the heart Nicolas soon turned his attention back to a chattering Nina and Worick. Left alone in a moment in reflection, Alex rubbed the soft cloth against her cheek, tears brimming in her eyes as she smiled.

“This is perfect.”

“This is happening” Worick said, sliding in close and looping an arm about her middle. “It's really happening.” Nuzzling in against his neck, cloth still clutched in her hand, Alex was almost trembling. Even through everything, the pain, the lies, the terror,  _ this _ was their reward. Their gift and their blessing and she was so lucky to be sharing it with these two terrible, beautiful men.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fear not! This is finished only FOR NOW! However with the hopefully soon in coming manga chapters I'll probably be motivated enough to continue it. My apologies for the abrupt halt (it's almost like the manga itself *chuckle*) Thank you very much for reading and supporting the series, bless.

Pregnancy was losing it's appeal, very quickly. Being locked away in the office was one thing but constant vigilance was another. And then there was the matter of her dramatically changing figure. None of her clothes would fit any more and most of her wardrobe either came from Connie's hand me downs or some of Nicolas larger shirts. Stacking a set of delivery bags on the desk before flopping down on the sofa, Alex sighed, bored. They needed a television, a better radio, maybe a higher functioning mobile phone, something to keep her occupied. Glancing at her steadily growing stomach the thought was quickly dismissed. She'd have plenty of things to do soon enough. Connie seemed constantly on her toes and busy, hopefully that activity would keep her boredom at bay and give her a little more purpose in her work. Especially since she couldn't make deliveries anymore. She still sung at the club, but even that had been cut back and the nice, comfortable little stool stood along stage with her and was usually used by the end of her set.

 

Smoothing her hands down over the tightly stretched fabric covering her stomach, she started at the round bump with tender eyes. The odd fluttering had been increasing along with her size, both in strength and frequency. Laying in bed one night, unable to sleep due to the bouncing babe squirming in her stomach, hands had caressed across her middle. Both Nicolas and Worick had been intrigued and in that moment she'd be able to share it them. Cautious at first, their touchs had been feather light and a little reluctant, but with one strong, sudden kick their interest was boosted tenfold. Face to her stomach, Worick had unceremoniously pulled up her shirt, feeling the strange shift and motion with eye wide and words of amazement spilling from his lips. Nicolas had been appreciative in his own way. Trailing his fingers over the gentle slope and round of her waist, he'd smiled and nuzzled in closer.

 

Feeling the tapping against her palm, Alex turned in her seat as footsteps echoed up the stairs. Key in the lock and door swinging open, both the Benriya walked in covered in a thin layer of sticky substance, dripping from their hair and shoulders.

“Dare I ask?” Shaking his head and storming down the stairs, Nicolas tossed his hands up with a frown.

“Make a note! No, I'm making a note myself.” Storming to the desk, unknown something oozing off his shirt, Worick looked fit to explode. “ _ Never take confidential jobs from the cops again.” _ Articulating each word as he penned it out, the blond pinned the note to the pin board with unnecessary force, the pin chipping the cork as he did. “I hope he keeps the shower running, that thing has the worst hot water.” Striding past Alex with agitated determination, he took a step back, aggression draining from his stance and features. “Ally-chan looks so beautiful today” leaning down and trying precariously to avoid dripping any of the mess on her, Worick kissed her softly. “You're practically glowing.” Cheeks warming, she watched him descend the stairs, feeling her baby jump and wiggle with a smile.

  
  


Nicolas emerged later first, hair wet and free of stickiness.

**Glue** he confirmed. **Cheap and nasty.** Drink in hand, he offered her a sip before chugging half the bottle. **Thank you** he signed, pointing towards the neatly packaged Celebre stabilisers on the desk. Smiling at the praise, she touched her stomach just to ensure she could still feeling the kicking.

**Here** she signed, catching his attention and patting the seat beside her. **Its moving.** Head cocked to the side, the Twilight knelt beside her, hand outstretched. Taking his wrist and angling his palm towards the most activity, Alex almost hiccupped as a small kick connected.

“Hello.” Covering her mouth as he stumbled over a greeting, Alex immediately touched his wet bangs, pushing them from his eyes as he spoke again. “There was glue. So much glue. And a broken truck. Why?” She couldn't tell if he was talking to her or the baby, so instead she simply sat in silence, feeling the warmth of his hand comfort her. “Why an it?” Realising the question was now being directed at her, Alex shrugged. 

“We don’t know if its a boy or a girl yet, it seemed appropriate.” There was a small frown on Nicolas’ face, however that could have quite easily have been due to Worick’s appearance and quiet cussing as he fussed around the room. 

“It needs a name.” Chuckling as he caught wind of their conversation and came to sit alongside the pair with a grunt, their blond companion began towelling his hair dry. 

“We can’t name it until we know what it is, idiot.” Ignoring the small bickering match that proceed to play out between the two, Alex lost herself in thought. 

 

They hadn’t discussed names or the possibility of sexes, none of that had seemed relevant. Even now it seemed like a far too dangerous idea. Akin to finding a cat on the street, naming it only meant it was harder to let go and say good bye. What if it came to that? Having to say goodbye and being left with only a painful memory and a name… No. Taking a deep breathe and squaring her shoulders, Alex pushed aside her worry and doubt, determined to focus on the good, the blessing, their baby. This wasn’t just about her now, or the Benriya. It was about all of them coming together and working towards a single goal. A single beautiful goal that came in the form of the protection and love for a tiny being titled their child. 

“I think it’s a boy.” Putting an end to their chatter with a stern word, Alex watched them both consider her assumption with thoughtful expressions. 

“I hope it’s a girl Alley-cha. Girls are so much easier to deal with and between you and

Nicco, you’d make a beautiful little girl.” Reaching down and resting his hand along Nicolas’ the blond pulled a face. “Or maybe it will be a boy, it’s feels fierce enough.” Smiling at the brightness in his tone, Alex leant her head against his shoulder, ignoring the damp of his wet hair. 

“Do you really think we’ll make beautiful children?” Beautiful wasn’t the right word, the word she was looking for should have been healthy, happy and loved. Not that it seemed to matter to Worick as the blond took her question and ran with it. 

“The most handsome, beautiful baby in all of Ergastulum.” He paused, looking down for a second with tension growing in his shoulders.”It’ll be a much better combination than if we’d ever managed a miracle baby.” 

 

Resisting a wince, Alex couldn't help but frown, disagreeing with all of her heart. Had the circumstances been different she would have loved to bear Worick a child. But due to the years of abuse in his trade, Theo had long ago confirmed that the blond would never have children. Nicolas had confided in Alex that at the time, Worick had laughed it then proceeded to drink himself into a stupor and cry himself to sleep for the next week. His pain and loss had been real and it was little wonder he was so keen on their current little arrival, it was closest he would ever get to having children of his own. 

“This is your baby too.” Craning her head up to stare at him with startlingly wet, deep blue eyes, Alex smiled tenderly at him. “And we would make a beautiful baby.” Returning her smile, the stiffness receding from his shoulders, Worick kissed her softly on the nose. 

**Girl** . Signing with a certain nod, Nicolas’ forehead replaced his hand, bending low to nuzzle in as close as possible.  **It’s a girl.**

“You can’t know that, Twilight super sense or not.” Shaking his head and ignoring Worick’s comment, Nicolas looked up at Alex expectantly. 

“A girl?” She hadn’t really considered it but a little girl would be without a doubt the most cherished creature within Ergastulum’s walls. Coupled with two very powerful, very scary daddys she’d probably be in the running with Luca as most spoiled child round. “Girls names then” speaking slowly to ensure Nicolas followed, she hummed. “I wish I could remember my mother’s name.” A mystery woman who still haunted her nightmares, maybe it was a good thing she remained nameless. 

“Same.” Squirming about awkwardly in his seat, Worick cleared his throat. “What about Belina?” 

**No** . Nicolas signed quickly, glaring at him.  **Not for a baby** . Sighing Alex wasn’t even sure she wanted to know the rest of that story, but asked anyway.

“Belina was your?” It could have been anything, from nursemaid to school teacher, it was hard to tell, each of them had lived such varied and diverse lives. 

“My first” the blond said with a wink, watching the slow, horrified expression creep into Alex’s face as realisation dawned. 

“No, oh please no.” Shaking her head, she caught the quickest glimpse of Nicolas’ smile, pleased he agreed. “I have some ideas.” 

 

It wasn’t as if she’d been actively thinking about names or genders, or anything even closely related. But in her previous lives, bored and alone, her mind had wandered and comfortable had always been found in a few small instances. Realising they’d paused and were waiting for her to speak, she blushed slightly. “Caroline.” It was something small and trivial, a song played during a happy time that had always managed to bring her joy and worth. It was a name worthy of a baby, a name worthy of her daughter. 

“Caroline” rolling the name over on his tongue and signing it out for Nicolas, Worick smiled. “I like it, Caroline Brown.” 

“Caroline Archangello Brown.” Alex corrected with a nod, listening as Nicolas stammered over the name until it became familiar and clear into voice. 

“Caroline” the Twilight said, head still pressed close to her stomach with a small smile. “Sweet Caroline.”  

**Author's Note:**

> [I can has a tumblr](http://www.blushingninja.tumblr.com)


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